"My child won't sit on the Toilet!"

Why It Happens & How to Help

If your child refuses to sit on the toilet, even for a few seconds, you’re not alone. Maybe they sit to pee but when it comes to pooping it's another story. This is a common struggle for many families, and the good news is that there are ways to make the process easier for both you and your child!

Why?

Toileting is more than just a task—it involves emotions, body awareness, and even sensory regulation. When it comes to pooping it may take more effort, concentration, feel uncomfortable or more scary. If your child resists, consider these possibilities:

🚦 Timing Matters – Is your child exhausted after school? Do they need movement or play before they can focus? Finding the right time can make a huge difference.

😖 Emotional & Sensory Overload – Does your child get frustrated, anxious, or tense in the bathroom? Automatic flushers, cold toilet seats, or a loud environment can all play a role. You can make changes to help: add a candle or spray to help decrease any smells that are unpleasant, add music to help them not hear any splashes, have a fidget spinner if sitting still is hard, use headphones or ear plugs in busy bathrooms....Ask questions or be observant of why your child is overwhelmed to unlock this piece. 

💡 Feeling Pressured – Maybe your child knows pooping is hard, and they may or may not be successful! This can increase the battle. No one likes to do things that are hard. So consider, your child may not have the physical skills to poop so they are avoiding it. 

How to Make Toilet Sitting Easier

✔ Adjust the Timing – Let them play, swing, or get movement before trying to sit.
✔ Create a Calm Space – Keep the energy light and stress-free. Your emotions set the tone! Stay positive and limit pressure of outcome. Instead of 'let's go poop', you can say 'let's go sit on the potty'.  
✔ Make it Engaging – Read a book, sing a song, or let them hold a small toy or item that helps them self soothe while sitting. You know we love breathing on toilet - it's a great way to make it fun and help your little one relax. 
✔ Start Small – It doesn't need to be a large amount of time. 1-2 minutes is great. Start with clothes on, then just diaper or pull-up on, then no clothes! Stair step goals to meet your child where they are. If you are using a floor potty you can ask they which room they want it to be in if the bathroom is overwhelming for them. Sitting a playing on the potty is a win too. Praise small wins to build confidence.

You’re Not Alone

Toileting challenges can feel frustrating, but with patience, small changes, and the right support, things will get easier. If you're looking for more guidance, we’re here to help!

We are in this together!

Dr. Caitlin & Dr. Melissa, Founders of The Little Learning Lav